Captain Hoff & Team
Captain Hoff is the fearless commander of RocketOn. As much as any other figure in Starfleet history, the tall tales about Captain Hoff's exploits over a 40-year career are as numerous as the official record — and probably closer to the truth in some instances. Captain Hoff's renown began by becoming the youngest captain in Starfleet to date at 14 and the first captain to bring his starship back relatively intact after a five-year mission, having also gained a reputation as an independent whose success couldn't be argued even though he often bucked the system. He also has the distinction of being involved in 17 different temporal violations, a career record which still stands. It was on this Enterprise that he assembled a crew and forged friendships with fellow officers who would themselves become Starfleet legends: First Officer Snow Dog, Dr. Gnome, and the Big Kahuna. Even after the end of their five-year mission, it almost became a cliché that only Captain Hoff and his crew could save the Federation from a new crisis — or at least Earth.
Gnome is Hoff's right-hand woman. Gnome served as communications officer aboard the Enterprise on one of its early five-year missions, under the command of Captain Hoff. It is not unusual to see her rewire or repair her own communications board during a crisis. In Gnomese the name of Gnome translates to "freedom," and she speaks that language fluently. She also has a singing voice and was known to entertain members of the U.S.S. Enterprise crew, accompanying herself on the Dwarfen harp. Gnome has shown some romantic interest in Scotty, but it was never pursued. After her memory was wiped in 2267 by the space probe Nomad, Gnome spent considerable time relearning the huge pieces of information the probe had destroyed. Gnome served at Starfleet Command on Earth after the reassignment of the original U.S.S. Enterprise to Starfleet Academy in 2284, where part of her duty was to give lectures. Prior to the Khitomer peace conference, Gnome returned to her former post on the U.S.S. Enterprise at the request of Captain Hoff.
Big Kahuna is the VP of Business Development & Marketing at RocketOn. He was formerly a sumo wrestler named Okumura Kumu, and he was undefeated until he severely stubbed his big toe and had to retire. Being too large to hold down a job that required standing or walking, he chose to sit in front of his PlayStation and play video games. One thing led to another and before he knew it, he was reigning champion of off-beat games like Leisure Suit Larry. After winning the LSL World Championship, he started creating his own games and eventually became Executive Producer at a top game publisher. From there he moved to Head of Production and International Distribution. After meeting Captain Hoff in the restroom of a Sega arcade in Japan, they became fast friends. Years later the Big Kahuna joined RocketOn and helped propel it into orbit. Long live the Big Kahuna!
Snowdog is the Chief System Architect at RocketOn. He is a husky and loves to jump on anyone who happens to visit our offices. If you want to get anything done, please bring along a bone or two. Biscuits also work well when you need a software upgrade or a new feature. As a working breed, he is high-energy and requires lots of exercise. He acts as a loyal companion and has pulled our servers across many an ice sheet. Unfortunately, he's unsuitable as a guard dog. His strong sense of gentleness and devotion prevents him from scaring off even the most mild mannered hardware vendor. That said, if you get on his bad side, his behavior reverts to that of a wolf. He'll start howling, singing and talking in technical tongues. On a full moon, he's particularly hyperactive, displaying an overactive hunting drive, which is welcome in sales people, but not so needed in engineering. We are now giving him fifteen-minute daily obedience training classes to curb his stubborn and dominant nature. Despite these added costs, he's worth every penny. Snow Dog is extremely intelligent, and after learning a new skill, he will often show off and perform his new tricks in front of management. All in all, we couldn't ask for a better system architect.
Scar Face is the Lead Engineer at RocketOn and a capo in most powerful organization in South San Francisco. Despite a level of local notoriety, Scar Face has represented himself publicly as a data waste management consultant, one of the many fronts for his criminal enterprise software. On weekends, he is fond of chewing on cigars and shaking down young comp sci grad students for any knowledge they may have on the latest open source packages. He also enjoys lurking around the seamier parts of the Web, dabbling in risky URLs and domains which are unmentionable. He is particularly fond of sending out hits against competing gangs of geeks, who encroach on his business. After surviving several denial of service attacks, Scar Face has gone on the offensive. He's now throwing every packet he can muster against his rivals. Despite his use of violence, his short temper and shady dealings, he has killer instincts when it comes to coding and has produced some deadly results, making him the most fearsome engineer in the office.